I met Mary two years ago. She was a vibrant active 73-year-old widow with a close circle of long-time friends whom she saw often. She would go to the Senior Center for exercise class, attend theatre and opera, and go out for lunch and of course, a walk to the neighborhood ice cream parlor daily. Her primary family support, her younger son David lived in New York City. Her older son Michael, severely disabled as a baby due to medical malpractice, lived 45 minutes away from Mary in an excellent residential program. She had been a fierce advocate for her son’s medical and service needs getting him to his current healthy, peaceful and well cared for state. Their connection was so strong. She went with him to equine therapy and took him out for lunch each week. Some years ago, her friends started to notice her memory loss and were becoming concerned about her safety and need for support. A Neurologist had diagnosed her with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) but no support or path was offered. We attempted to layer in services and systems to enhance her safety, mindful of her fierce independence. Due to her lack of insight that she had any deficits that is so common with Alzeimer’s disease and her keen intelligence, she foiled our attempts and was hospitalized multiple times for mismanaging her medications. Live-in caregivers were hired but did not work in her small condo (she also made them leave). In the fall of 2019, with the help of a brilliant and compassionate neuropsychologist, Mary confronted her diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer’s disease and made the transition to assisted living. It was a rough adjustment but by February of 2020 she was settling in to her new life and making some friends in the community.
Covid-19 changed everything for everyone. Mary’s assisted living community shut its doors to protect its residents’ lives. Day by day we could see the changes in Mary. She was no longer agitated and demanding to move back home. She was quiet, withdrawn and in a steep cognitive decline due to the isolation of having to be alone in her apartment. The rhythm of her life had vanished. No more lunches out with friends, communal dining, or community activities. The critical structure of her day that supported her functioning and the people in her life that grounded her all vanished. Even with increased support from the assisted living staff, Mary continued to articulate her distress being alone and not knowing what to do.
Due to Mary’s decline, I made a plea to the Assisted Living Company with all the reasons I needed to be allowed into the community to work with Mary. I was denied. With documentation from the Geriatric Psychiatrist working with Mary, we gained approval from the assisted living community to have companions come in to be with Mary daily from 4-8 pm. I have worked with Seniors Helping Seniors for years and consistently found their companions to be well matched to my clients and effective in their role. For Mary, the two woman who were assigned to her quickly became her lifeline. They were compassionate, formed a positive connection with Mary and became our eyes and ears to know what Mary needed.
After Mary wandered off the patio on multiple separate occasions and was found wandering the halls each day looking for help, it was clear to all of us that no amount of staff support or companion help was enough. Mary moved the specialized memory program within her assisted living community. Transitions are difficult for everyone, but for someone with Alzheimer’s disease it is like having the rug pulled out from beneath your feet. You can no longer pull information from your long-term memory to assist you in making sense of your daily life. New patterns for everything need to be constructed. Once again, we appealed to the assisted living corporate office requesting that they allow me, a Social Worker deemed by the Massachusetts Governor to be an “essential worker” into their building to provide the vital support my client needed in making this transition. Visiting nurses were coming in, Physical Therapist and Occupational Therapists were coming in, companions were coming in but no Aging Life Care Professionals were permitted in by this company. We, as a profession are nothing if not completely committed to our clients and resolute finding creative ways to solve problems.
I’ll never forget the moment the answer to this terrible situation dawned on me. I would become a companion. I called the owner of Seniors Helping Seniors, Josh Obeiter. I knew him to be knowledgeable about Alzheimer’s and related dementias, committed to providing high quality services to seniors and trustworthy. I also knew Josh for his years on the Education Committee for the New England Chapter of The Aging Life Care Association. Josh agreed that we could work this through and make it happen. Mary’s son and I had built strong bridges with the assisted living team. They accepted my position as Mary’s companion. For the past month I have been able to visit my client twice a week. My advocacy for her, my presence being with her and my ability to work with the Memory program team to support her adjustment made a difference in this client’s life and that of her long-distance son. My relationship with Seniors Helping Seniors allowed me to do my best for Mary who suffered cognitive decline due to the current pandemic. I am extremely thankful to have Corporate Partners to rely on.