We carry items around with us throughout our lives.
For many women, our purses, pocketbooks, and bags become a source of security. Having them nearby lets us know we have what we need, no matter what life presents or where we find ourselves. In the fall of 2024, I had the pleasure of meeting a lovely woman when she was in a sub-optimal skilled nursing facility. She was unaware at that time of her terminal cancer diagnosis. Her devoted niece was in California. Other than a few friends, she was on her own and had been for a long time. We worked together as partners to get all the answers she needed so that she could choose her path forward. From day one, the purse was present and always close by. Through outings to her doctor appointments, we chatted and always did a trip through the McDonald’s drive through for her favorite chicken nuggets and fries, a nice break from institutional food. With her niece’s continual support, her estate plan was taken care of and she moved to a highly skilled and compassionate hospice home. Each time I visited her, I would move The Purse off the guest chair and hand it to her for one thing or another that she would dig out of it. We spent the next month ensuring her comfort, doing paperwork and any task needed and bringing her Duncan cold brew and munchkins. We had a world series mini party with peanuts, popcorn and candy so she could tell me all about her beloved Red Sox but mostly, I was there to listen and reassure her. When she passed peacefully, I sent all her belongings to her niece but was left with her empty purse that her niece did not want.
In my seventeen years as a Geriatric Care Manager, I have traveled the end-of-life journey with many clients and their families. When you have done all you can to put things in place as the professional, all you can do is be present as a fellow human being. It may sound simple and not important but it is an incredible honor. For reasons I do not fully understand, I have kept her purse on the file cabinet next to my desk. I sometimes glance at it and smile, remembering who this woman was and the robust life that she led before our brief time together. My client was given dignity, peace, and comfort at the end of her life. This is something we all hope for. I will keep the Purse until I am ready to let it go. As Professional Care Managers we carry our clients in our hearts as we travel through this work we do, some touch us deeply.
